The Doctors In"He's probably dead," Roger exclaimed as the two kittens giggled mischievously behind him.
Alright, to begin, this has got to be one of the most well written stories I've seen on Deviant Art in awhile. It was structured nicely and it was easy to read and understand. Each character's personalities were made noticeable, and their actions seemed justified to that.
Though it was very predictable, it still gave out a "Happy Halloween" vibe which I believe is exactly what you were going for. It wasn't too gruesome that it makes the reader sick, yet it had enough of that horror bloodiness that keeps fright fans interested.
Personally, I believe the ending (where the daughter turned to him and spoke "I never wanted this") was a perfect way to end it. It somewhat mirrors Roger's thoughts as well, since his desires of how the night played out didn't work out as planned either. *side note, he's a little pig.* XD
In all, it was a great story. It flowed well and I believe just the feel this one brings out will have people wanting to see more of your work. So good job ^-^ I hope to see more from you in the future.
Thank you for such a wonderful critique, darling!
I'm so very glad you enjoyed the story - despite it being predictable. As for the last line, it is probably my favorite part of the piece. Even though she's very minor, I fell in love with the doctor's daughter. Perhaps I'll continue this story in another fashion and use her as my inspiration.
Thank you once again, and I'll be critiquing your work as soon as possible.
Oh, that would be interesting. "The revenge of the doctor's daughter". She could go around killing doctors in attempts to "stop" them. Sounds awesome ^.^ I really do love the feel you bring out, so really it's my pleasure ^-^